Come on, you know you want one!

Last weekend marked the passing of legendary carmaker John DeLorean. DeLorean was, of course, the man behind the car that bared his name, but he was also responsible for my favorite car of all time, the Pontiac GTO. If you are like me (and I know I am), you have been waiting to purchase a new DeLorean. So pick one up, just make sure you give me a ride.

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What the f&%k is Grafedia?

I should be in bed but I found this cool site about Grafedia.

“What is Grafedia?” you ask?

Apparently, it looks like graffiti, but it is always blue with a blue underline. You just enter what ever the word is and @grafedia.net and you will be sent information back to your computer or cell phone. The idea is to one day put in on the sides of buildings to let you know what is inside.

You can even make your own.

Is it the future in advertising?

Only time will tell.

Easter Bunnies, Firemen, & Pirates (Oh, Sh%t)

Or, Political Correctness, run amuck.

Ever since I can remember, my dad has been a fireman. Not a firefighter. A fireman.
I know that it is now politically correct to say firefighter, but I consider myself excluded from that rule. I remember when I was in the first grade and my dad would show up in a fire engine to pick me up; talk about being the cool kid. So, you could say that I was “grandfathered in” and I am allowed to say fireman instead of firefighter.

“So what?” you say.

“What does that have to do with the Easter Bunny?”

Well, some knuckleheads had seen fit to tell us that we have to change the name of the Easter Bunny to … well, I don’t know what their alternative title would be and frankly, I really don’t care. Apparently, not everyone celebrates Easter and they feel left out of the whole bunny thing.

Really?

I do not claim any religious affiliation and, surprisingly, I am okay with the bunny’s moniker. Maybe that is because the Easter Bunny, and in fact, Easter, predate Christianity. Another fact, most “Christian Holidays” have roots in pagan rituals. It basically boils down to “can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”

But, I digress.

Leave the Easter Bunny alone.

“And what about the pirates?” you ask.

When was the last time you were at Disneyland? Well, The Pirates of the Caribbean has always been my favorite ride. In case you live on a commune (with electricity and internet access, apparently) this ride takes you on a boat ride into the world of pirates as they sack and pillage (no murder, it is Disney).

At one point in the ride, we witness a “Bride Auction” where pirates can purchase a wife. Next we see the pirates chasing their newly acquired bride around the town. Well, apparently it is not politically correct for pirates to chase woman. The nerve! So, that portion of the ride was subtly changed and food was placed in the hands of the women. So now, the pirates are (wait for it) chasing the food and not the woman. Pirating can make you hungry.

Three words.

They. Are. Pirates.

Oh, and remember the bridal auction? Still there. So, for those of you playing the home game; buying a wife, okay. Chasing your new acquired wife, not okay.

AAAHHHGGGRRR.

People, people, people.

You will never beat us. So, hop in and enjoy the ride.

Long Live the Mix Tape

Can you keep a secret? Just between friends? I don’t own an iPod. What? you say. Then, how do I listen to music? The good old fashion mix tape. I am usually at home, in my car, or at my desk, with a CD player at each location. I have been buying CDs for almost 20 years and have accumulated quite a collection; of course, most are in boxes in my garage.

Today, my wife and I are going for a drive and I decided to make a CD. Not all-time greatest hits but some good hits for today. It always amazes me when someone can name their favorite band or favorite song of all time. I could never do it. It depends what kind of mood I am in. Whenever I hear a song, I am transported back to the time when the song was popular. When I hear Depeche Mode, I am sixteen again and driving around in my ’64 LeMans. When I hear U2’s Joshua Tree, I am a sophomore in high school and going to my first concert with Mitch.

Today is a cool day with some high clouds and we are driving out to Riverside to pick up our daughter who is spending the night at her cousin’s house. It feels like a day for John Mayer, The Postal Service, Jack Johnson, and David Grey. So, I’ll take my favorites and burn them and when I listen to the compilation, I will always remember the drive I took with my wife.

Get off my box

Enough is enough!

1) The government should not care what I watch on television.

2) If you see something that you don’t like on television, turn the channel.

3) My neighbor should not care what I watch.

4) If my neighbor sees something he doesn’t like on television, he should turn the channel and trust that I have the good sense to do the same if I so desire.

5) The FCC has too much power

6) Rep. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) is my new hero

What am I talking about? The House has passed an “Indecency Bill” that would increase fines to $500,000 per violation. Well Senator, get out your checkbook because I am offended!

Some of you will say that the FCC is merely enforcing the will of the people, but according to an article by Jeff Jarvis, the FCC is acting on complaints by as little as three people.

THREE PEOPLE!!

And the fine that resulted from that particular complaint resulted in a record judgment of $1.2 million against FOX.

$1.2 million!

Three people!

But wait, there’s more!

Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Ted Stevens is pushing to apply broadcast decency standards to cable television.

Goodbye, “Sopranos”

Goodbye, “Sex in the City”

Goodbye, “Six Feet under”

And goodbye to all the “R” rated movies on HBO.

But there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Representative Bernie Sanders (I-VT) announced the introduction of legislation to prevent the government from censoring the content on popular cable T.V. shows and Internet websites.

But he can’t do it by himself. So, call your legislators and tell them to leave our televisions alone. Click here to find all of the telephone numbers and addresses you will need.

If this entry offended you, then you should have stopped reading, Dumbass!